Inane Ramblings of an Over Caffinated Mind
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
And Ladies & Gentlemen, This Is The Next Economic PowerhouseI would like to start out with NEVER EVER AND I MEAN NEVER fly Air China! In case you didn’t understand how strongly I felt about that, I really mean N – E – V – E – R!!
So, I was minding my own business at work as always and trying to stay out of trouble when a Beijing Project landed on my desk. Now oddly, most people jump at these types of opportunity (or so my boss tries to convince me), but I was less than thrilled. This only meant that I had to travel to Beijing sooner or later. And knowing my luck, my Beijing trip would most likely be scheduled to coincide with my Hawaiian vacation.
Well, weeks go by and all is quiet on the Eastern front. There is rumbling here and there about going to Beijing, but nothing is ever confirmed. Then my boss tells me that I will not be taking the first trip since she will go instead. RELIEF! More rumbling here and there and the next thing I know, I am on a 13-hour flight headed to Beijing. My luck never ceases to amaze me. The absolute best part was that I would now be leaving for my Hawaiian vacation straight from Beijing. The only consolation was that I didn’t have to fly from Beijing to Dallas and double back another 8 hours to reach Hawaii. [Shudder]
Needless to say, my boyfriend was completely against the idea of me traveling so close to our vacation. We had spent months, not to mention a considerable amount of money, planning this trip. But I assured him that NOTHING would go wrong. I mean c’mon, how hard is it…I had a ticket from Beijing to Osaka straight to Honolulu…it was a done deal.
My trip started out fabulously. I was delayed for six hours at Chicago O’Hare airport. Now, you would think that a non-stop flight to Beijing would be predominantly filled with Asian passengers and that some, if not most, of those Asian passengers may not be able to communicate fluently in English. Now, if I were a company, who knew, hours in advance, that a flight would be delayed for an extended period of time, I would send someone who could speak Mandarin to facilitate communication and answer client questions and concerns such as, “How the hell am I going to catch my connecting flight, when I am delayed 6 fucking hours.” Of course, I possess logic and am not going bankrupt so I guess that explains their lack in judgment.
Since I can speak Mandarin, I became a troop leader of sorts for those individuals who could not speak English. I marched me and my minions to the service counter and got us all squared away with meal and accommodation vouchers as well as connecting flight information. Again, you think with a name such as Customer Service Counter, you could very well expect some customer service – yeah, what was I thinking? They give nothing away without you asking for it. Greedy, capitalistic bastards.
Anyway, finally get to Beijing. Business goes well but unfortunately I worked Beijing office hours as well as US office hours since I was also the lead on a project going full force in the US. Let me tell you, roaming charges are a bitch in China. My week trip landed me a $560 cell phone bill and I made no personal calls.
I had never been to Beijing before and here’s what I learned on my trip:
- Sandstorms are pretty cool but rather dirty
- Squat toilets require strong leg muscles as well as the ability to hold your breath for an extended amount of time
- Beijing cab drivers are either the dumbest samples of our species I’ve ever encountered or I’ve seriously been scammed.
- Beijing discos are fun – especially if you have been up for 30 hours straight
All of this results in me arriving at the check-in counter with 35 minutes before take off. Air China informs me it’s their policy to close the gates 45 minutes before take off and there is absolutely no way to check me in. At this point, I freak out. I run to the management counter and tell them there must be a way to get on that plane – no, no and um….no. I tell the Air China lady, “Fine, I can’t get on that flight, tell me when the next flight is because I have to get back to the US today.” I was promptly informed I would have to wait until tomorrow. And all of this was surmised without ever looking up any flight information. I implore again and Air China lady tells me, it doesn’t matter what I want or don’t want, I was not going anywhere until tomorrow. At that point, she simply walks away. The freaking out quadruples at this point.
Anyway, I ended up calling Expedia and was told there was another flight leaving in four hours – with Fucking Air China of course – and a connecting flight in LAX to Hawaii [FUCK ME! 5 hours doubling back in the Pacific!] Expedia asked if I still had my paper tickets because I could fly stand by on the next flight. OH MY FUCKING LORD! Stupid ass Air China Lady never gave me my tickets back. I return to the management counter and she’s nowhere to be seen. I ask another agent about my tickets and I get this stupid stare [that seems to be prevalent in Beijing] and a shrug. So, all this costs me another $1,400 and 10 hours wasted of vacation time. Of course I have not been refunded for my unused ticked yet because Expedia and United have decided that it's the other party's responsibity to either credit or refund me. No one knows anything. United Customer Service tells me I needed to go to the airport ticket counter to fill out a lost ticket form. When I arrive at the airport, the ticket counter has no clue what I am talking about. I call customer service again and was told to be a good little dog and continue to chase my own tail until I drop dead of exhaustion.
So, anyone thinks me and my luck should let it all ride on red in Vegas?
